i'm feeling so damn bloody f**ked up with myself..... i'm standing on this platform and chasing for this train. everytime this train stops i'm always a few cabins away from the door. i'll be running for it but everytime b4 i catch the bloody door, the train will start to move with the door still open. i'm filled with this hope that i can catch the train but then i couldnt. i couldnt outrun the train. and each and everytime, i will be left to always chase the train. though it occassionally makes an attempt to stop, i still am not able to catch up with it...

why isit that the train always gives mi this illusion that i can catch up with it.. that i can board it? and why am i chasing this train in the first place? does it mean i will be more happy on the train? do i even have to catch this train in the first place? isit because everybody has a train to catch and that's why i'm feeling compelled to catch it? now seeing that i am not even convinced myself to catch the train. do i still nd to give the chase? am i asking myself just too many questions, posing to myself that there are too many difficulties? cant i just heck care about everything and just run? why isit that i have more issues to clear than the others? wat exactly are the issues that i claim to have? am i just thinking too much?

i'm so vexed. i'm so angry at myself that i may have even seemed angry at others. even to my family members. i dun mean to shout and ignore u. i just dunno how to control myself.

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