the penguin monologue
i am a penguin. i talk. i procrastinate. this is my monologue.



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basic skin by ransomxletter
Saturday, March 06, 2010

i dont like it when people call me jiu gui.
i dont like it when i sleep at past midnight.
i dont like it when i am complaining.
i dont like it when i think too much
i dont like it when i say i dont like me

argh! this is so hard. i got soo many feelings and emotions but i cant say them outloud.

this is so painful.

Sunday, January 03, 2010
hiatus

finally... after so so long i managed to log back on again.

it's another yr added to my age. a ripe old 26. sucks! so old sia. the last time i was talking to gan about how unreal i feel my age was... that physically, mentally and emotionally that i feel myself dun realli add up. i bet some souls out there feels the same too.

2009 has been a year of procrastination. u find that as u get older, the more procrastination u do. or is it just me. it's the push of the little bit of vigour u have in u that inspires new ideas.. but then it's also the age that makes u feel tired... and lazy.. ok. i think that's an excuse. it's just laziness.

quite a number of things happened in 2009. 2 of my frenz got married. many more frenz got married or are planning to. and thru facebook, i found out that.. guess wat.. even more frenz got married and some even had 2 kids running around in kindergarden schools. but amid all these "happenings", i always find myself wanting to ask the couple... how do u know that he/she is the one? i remember i asked liting this question.. and guess wat she said... u just know. wtf. if only everything in this world is as easy!

i'm in depression mode again. i find myself getting into depression mode everytime i feel that something doesnt go my way... and i'm always the one who wreak things up... like everytime i go out for dinner with others (who are not vegetarian).. i feel that they would always have to make special arrangement for me.. or couldnt go to a certain place because i do not have anything to eat there. or didnt ask me along because i wouldnt have anything to eat there anyway.. i know it sounds silly to talk about this... but i know i have to voice it out somewhere... if not i'll go crazy. i hate to be left out. but then again, i do not want to not be a vegetarian. i am not saying its bad. it's just that.. it hard. but i am not giving up. but time and again, when such things are being brought up... i realli feel that i am a hindrance to people... that if there wasnt a me, things would have gotten a whole lot smoother for the others. if i wasnt there, if i didnt exist in their lifes... maybe they would have a whole new better life for them.

i sometimes realli envy people who have a person whom they can realli talk and cry to. some of this people may be their fren or it would be best if he/she is their lover. or even a mentor, someone who can guide me in life. xtend his/her hand to me when i'm feeling lost and hopeless.

it's not realli nice to begin a year with a sad beginning... but i just couldnt help feeling sad. this question always come to my mind whenever i get depressed. should i have visited a doctor instead? but i know my problems. i just need that someone to give me a hand. but do not give me the hand, only to let go of it when i am just reaching the top and because u cant see me.

afternote: i must realli have low eq... cause now i feel happy again.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008
happy notes

i need to feel more positive about myself... and stop being so melodramatic...

i will get a book by my side and note down every single happy thing that happened in my life... and forget things that i should let go off.

perhaps i will then be a happier girl.

Thursday, October 23, 2008
melancholy

我好痛。

Sunday, October 12, 2008
untitled

u r in a black box. so many colours and light can shine through you. but at the end of the day. ur box is still black. it's as if it translucent.. u attempt to light up candles... but after the light has gone.. u have just created a puddle of mess for yourself. sometimes u will think.. why am i inviting trouble... but then because ur world is so dark, ur crave for that little bit of light will prompt u to light up more and more candles and before u know it... ur little black box gets chocked up with all the mess u've created all this while.

now u panic. u want to get rid of all the waxy mess. but u cant... no matter how u scrap... the rubbish still lingers.

then u get more depressed. light can no longer shine through ur box. it has become opaque.. and slowly... the ppl around you leave... just because they find it useless to shine their light in u anymore.

Saturday, March 15, 2008
*_*

oh great... i think i've lost the ability to drive... on 2 occassions.... i drove ming hui's car... something bad went wrong.... 0_o shucks... have i realli lost the ability to drive or isit juz a mental block....

i've lost the ability to swim freestyle too... months back i've discovered this... isnt swimming supposed to be like cycling.. u know... one u learn it... u will forever remember how to do it.... but but but.... how come i cant remember how to swim freestyle..

and now lagi best... i've forgotten how to drive too... shucks shuckc shucks..... could there have been a glitch in the part of my brain that stores all my previously learnt skills.... that may be the reason why.......

HOW TO MAKE FAIRY GRASS AKA 仙草 COOLING DESSERT DRINK

Ingredients
1) fairy grass aka 仙草
2) H2O
3) sugar
4) pandan leaves
5) lots of love baby~~~~~

Method
1) first prepare the fairy grass....



grate it....



2) boil a pot of water....add sugar and pandan leaves.... remove the leaves when the pandan taste has 'come out'...





3) add in the fairy grass and stirrrrrrrr..... remember to cover the pot if u r leaving it for later..



4) tata!!!!!!!! all done and ready to go!!!!



i'll try to blog more often.... next time!

Saturday, January 12, 2008
to buy or not to buy

should i or should i not buy a car. that is the question.

pros:
1) greater assessability than using public transport

2) more privacy. no more sweaty fellow commuters.

3) can bring my parents out to places where its very hard to go by public transport... example farms...parks....

4) no nd to bother about bringing too much stuff when going out. u can juz dump them in the car if u dun nd them.

5) the 'feel-like-i-am-very-rich' feeling. well, this also very much depends on the type of car u r getting. u cant realli feel like a million bucks with a kelisa~~~

6) the ability to go anywhere, whenever and wherever u want. kinda bundles with greater assessibility...


cons:
1) harmful to the environment. unless i buy a hybrid car... which if is the case... then i wouldnt be able to get one now

2)very expensive. the car. coe. insurance. petrol. blah blah blah

3) the 'obligation' to send ppl home on ur car who live 'along the way'. not that i am truly complaining about this. is juz one of the things that u should do when u have a car.

4) cannot sleep while on the go. of course!!! i can sleep like a log while on a bus.

5) the obligation to ZHNG ur car. well. i know i will definitly ZHNG my car when i have one. rims. side-skirts. visor. spoiler. decals. cute gear covers. all these are equivalent to BIG MONEY........... ~_~

6) look at the number of cars on the road now... realli make no sense to add another one... the traffic can onli get suckier and suckier...

oh my god.... the pros and cons are on par~~~ SEE!!! is difficult lor.... but... i guess the main thing boils down to money.... with my meagre monthly pay... if i were to realli get one... it should be a picanto... haha... picanto kinda sucks... anyway.... the list of cars that i wan....


PS: i am not including mazda 3 and suzuki swift in the list cause my bf buys a mazda 3 when i crave for one, then my bf went to buy swift when i am aiming for it also. drats.



A) Peugeot 1007





comes complete with sunroof, the van-like sliding door... in case u think eww.. liddat machiam like van liddat... the doors are automated...and sliding doors allow maximum movability... ur neighbouring parking car may juz like u a bit more cause u are less likely to scratch his door...

it has a '2-tronic' automated manual gearbox.. i dun realli truly understand the phrase but juz know that u can choose between automated drive and manual drive... guess should be quite norm for cars nowadays....

and its on my list because..............

1) it looks different. u can easily recognise ur car in the carpark. SHOUTS: individuality~~~~~

2) its a Peugeot.... SHOUTS: continential car!!!! gosh how superficial and shallow and stereo-typical can i get.....

3) its a car made for women... as Peugeot markets it..."Driving has now entered a new era for women." how true......

B) Peugeot 207CC

YES!!!! is a Peugeot again.... cant get enough of the big tiglion (tiger-lion) hybrid crest on the car~~~~~





sporty coupé or sleek cabriolet.... all within 25 seconds with its automated roof. it seats 4. which is very frenly... haha.... and it has a airconditioned glove box! which means u can keep ur drinks chilled while having fun in the beach... well that is if u leave ur engine running....

though it looks a bit weird while trying to look sporty with its 17" rims and big grille...... the big wide and long headlights and very round body dun realli match the whole package...

BUT!!!! it still looks cool cause its a coupé-cabriolet~~~~~ hur hur hur....

and and and!!! its a Peugeot....

it also has a 4-speed "tiptronic system porsche" automatic with manual override... well watever that means.... it sounds urber cool can~~~~ kinda says u can drive in comfort but can still change to manual when u wan that extra ommph and feel to the drive i guess....but i guess i'll be using the auto mode for as long as i'm driving... hurhurhur....lazy can~~~~

C) Kia Picanto


can u find any more car more hideous than this... oh ya... chery and kelisa~~~~

yes... u are not dreaming... i am including the much dreaded picanto in my list... even though i realli find it disgustingly cute....

gosh i cant find myself to say other things rather than.. it's cheap and good to get me from point A to B.

i didnt even realli bother to find more pics....

D) Toyota Vios



i cant imagine i am also including this car into my list...

yes.. they revamped the car.... but the stupid meters are still in the middle of the dashboard....

but it saves fuel...

and ya.... it saves fuel.....

saves fuel = saves money.....

oh and one more thing.... the sound insulation in toyota is surprisingly good... better than mazda and suzuki... but not sure how it compares with Peugeot though.... never ridden in one b4....

this is the list as of now.... i've got other great cars that i want... like mazda rx-8.... mazda mx5.....mini cooper....Lamborghini....Porsche....Volkswagen Golf GTI....Mercedes-Benz SLK.....Mitsubishi Evo X....BMW.....Lexus MPV.....Bugatti Veyron.....the list can only more and more unaffordable.... MUAHAHAHAHA....

i guess it juz apt that i end this post with....

let me earn more money first~~~~~

and dun any one of u out there get a Peugeot first!!!!! if not i wouldnt have any car to aim for liaoz~~~~~~~~~~~ super diaoz~~~~~~~~

next time....